Momentary Confession
by Gater101
Summary: Five OneShots. Reply to the Beya Valentine's Challenge - 'Five ways John confesses his feelings for Teyla'.
1. Number 1

#1

Teyla frowned as she watched John scribble on a piece of paper. Ever since they'd come into the briefing room, he'd paid little attention to the words of Carter – or anyone else, for that matter – and she was concerned. Usually, he was attentive, if a little bored. Never had she seen such inattention from him. He shifted his weight from one side to the other, angling his head as he moved the pen across the paper.

He must have felt her curious gaze because he looked up, paused for a moment before sudden realisation crossed his features. She frowned again as he smiled in her direction before turning the paper over and scribbling on the other side. She glanced quickly to Carter to see if she had seen the interaction but she was busy listening to Rodney, who was sitting next to John.

She turned back to him, her frown still in place, and found him watching her with a small smile on his lips. Her frown deepened and she was about to look away when he held up the sheet of paper and she blushed.

'_I love you'._


	2. Number 2

It wasn't the first time he'd found himself in her bed, nor would it be the last. It seemed like every time there had been a close call, they'd found themselves together, seeking comfort and assurance from the other. But this time, something had changed. Instead of merely sleeping, he'd found her clothes slowly disappearing beneath kisses he hadn't intended to give. He found his body responding in ways so powerful he was sure he would be broken afterwards.

But as he lay there beside her, propped up on elbow, watching her sleeping form as the moon spilled across the expanse of her naked back, he felt as though he never wanted to leave. He reached across with his free hand and traced a hazy line from the base of her spine up and across her shoulders, sliding the layer of hair from her back. He lowered his head and placed a soft kiss between her shoulder blades. He smiled as she sighed and closed his eyes, revelling in the feeling.

He found his fingers tracing words across her back that he knew he couldn't say right then because it wasn't right yet. When he'd finished tracing the last 'u', she turned her head to him and smiled sleepily at him. He loved the mussed look of her hair, the glazed look of her eyes and he stroked her soft, warm cheek.

"Really?" She murmured groggily and John nodded, finding the word stuck in his throat. She smiled again and nuzzled closer to his chest.

"Yeah," he managed on a breath.

He could feel her soft kiss on his chest and he stroked her hair.

"Yeah..." she replied, warming his heart, before she drifted off to sleep.

He waited a few moments, stroking his fingers through her hair before leaning down close to her ear, murmuring;

"I love you."

She didn't reply but he didn't need her to.

Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, content in the knowledge he'd managed to eventually say the words.


	3. Number 3

The cold had long since seeped into his bones. His head throbbed with exhaustion; a sharp pain behind his eyes reminded him that the pain medicine had worn off. He shifted and adjusted his neck on his forearms behind his head, ignoring the burning across his brain.

He tried to see her from the corner of his eye but she was farther away than he had thought. There were so many things he wanted to say to her before it was too late but the words, nor the inclination to say them, never came.

If there was ever a time for him to have that conversation that they'd put off for almost a decade, right there and then would be it. The stars above sparkled brightly in the obsidian sky, the water below reflected with startling accuracy all that was above it. A warm breeze swept across them, momentarily warming his cool skin.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

She didn't hesitate in her answer.

"Yes."

"You love me."

"I do."

"We could have been good together."

"Yes."

"It's too late now."

"It is."

He turned his head to her, feeling the painful pull in his chest. She looked beautiful lying beside him, the stars glittering in her dark eyes.

"We could make it work."

She turned to him and smiled sadly, shaking her head slowly.

"No." He nodded sadly in acknowledgement. He heard her shuffling, could see her turning to lie on her side facing him, her arms tucked under head. "You have a home on Earth now. And I have a son to another man."

John's lip slid up in something akin to a smile and he turned away from her, facing the sky. He sighed and closed his eyes. He felt her lips on his, a mere brush before she pulled back. He opened his eyes and peered at her as she hovered over him.

"Why did we wait so long to say these things?" She shrugged and John smiled, his eyes sliding to her lips. "It's so easy to say it now."

"I know."

"You haven't said it yet."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling and his hand rose of its own accord and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love you."

"You do."

"You love me."

"I do."

"You'll be gone tomorrow."

"I will."

"I will miss you."

"I'll miss you."

They stared at one another for a few moments longer before she lowered herself on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder, a hand on his chest while both his arms circled her waist, tucking her closer to him.

"I love you."

"I love you."


	4. Number 4

Debris blew up into his face and he turned away, covering her face with his body to protect her from the flying dirt and rubble and branches. She cried out as he leaned against her fragile body but he couldn't move from her, afraid that she would be hurt further. When the whirlwind settled he turned quickly, aiming his P-90 at the makeshift entrance to their small hideout.

He fired his weapon as a Wraith warrior appeared and the Wraith let out a groan of pain before falling to the ground. John's breathing was laboured, his heart pounding in his chest, the adrenaline pumping hot blood through his veins. He waited for a few startled seconds before scrambling back to Teyla. Blood oozed from the wound on her head, her trouser leg was covered in blood and torn so that John could see the bone pointing through the broken skin. He winced at the sight and looked up to her pinched features.

"We need to move you further in."

She nodded but didn't say anything as she bit her lip and it spoke volumes about the pain that she was in. He slung her arm over his shoulder and hauled her up with him, dragging her further back in the small cave they'd found. He tried to ignore her groaning and pained noises as she tried to avoid putting weight on either of her sore legs.

"It's okay, we're almost there," he told her reassuringly as his grip around her waist tightened. He deposited her ungraciously onto some leaves and other shrubbery and kneeled in front of her, his hands running over her leg again, trying to figure out if there was anything he could do. "You okay?"

She nodded but the tears in her eyes gave her real pain away.

"Lorne, this is Sheppard, come in!" He knew it was futile; the radio signals had been the first thing to be interfered with as soon as they'd stepped through the 'Gate. He glanced back at Teyla, indecision marring his features.

"Go!" She told him but he wasn't sure. He knew that she was seriously injured and couldn't really defend herself if someone came into their make shift shelter. But he also knew that the caves would hide their life signs when his team came to find them – he had to go to them. "I will be fine. The trees provide ample shelter and I can fire my weapon if I need to," she assured him and he nodded.

"Okay." He unclipped his stunner and placed it in her hand, hers having been lost when she'd been thrown through the air in the explosion. He took the extra clips from his pocket and put them into hers, despite her protests. "I'll be fine," he assured her. "Just shoot at anything that comes through that entrance – even if it's me." She smiled and nodded and he returned the gesture. "Okay. I won't be long." She nodded and he patted her arm, taking a deep breath before moving to the entrance again.

"John." He stilled when she called his name and turned back to her. He saw something there on her features and he tried to smile reassuringly in her direction but he couldn't push the smile past the rising anxiety he felt in his chest. He saw her attempt at a brave smile and he was almost proud of her. Her smile faltered and he took an alarmed step towards her as she gripped her side, her face contorting in pain. "Please hurry," she whispered after the pain subsided.

John watched her for a few seconds before something snapped inside of him and he strode towards her with sure, certain steps. He loosed his hold on his P-90 as he dropped to his knees beside her. His hands gripped her face and he thrust his lips onto hers, trying to push all the emotions that he'd kept pent up for the past five years into the kiss. He'd never felt anything quite like the flood of emotions that swept through him as their tongues duelled with the other for dominance. He knew deep down that this was neither the time nor the place as he heard the sound of firing bullets, the explosions and the shouts outside the cave mouth but his mind didn't seem to care about that fact.

Rationale kicked in and he pulled away, his hands still tangled in her hair, her finger gripping the back of his head, her eyes glazed.

"I love you," he blurted as he withdrew his hands and sat back. If the startled look was any kind of meter, John could only imagine the look of shock that was on his own. If she hadn't expected it, neither the hell had he. And yet he found he didn't regret it. He stood, hovered for a second to see if she would reply before he leaned down and pulled her lips to his again quickly. "I won't be long."

He only paused slightly, not allowing her to see the smile on his face as she murmured the words to his retreating back.

No, he wouldn't be long at all.


	5. Number 5

"You're not leaving," he announced as he strode through her door.

"Excuse me?" She asked indignantly as she stood straight, her hands stilling at her sides.

His eyes took in the many things on her bed with distaste, his lips curling in disapproval. There were a few full bags lying about the floor and he picked one up, unzipped it and began removing the contents.

"John, what are you doing?" She queried loudly as she tried to usher his hands away. He wouldn't stop his frantic movements until eventually he tipped the bag up and the contents spilled across her bed. When he stopped and thought, he almost laughed but the murderous look on her face quelled that feeling. "What are you doing?"

They stood facing one another from across her bed, hands on hips, similar indignant stares on their faces. John was not inclined to back down and it appeared that neither was she.

"You're. Not. L_eaving." _

Her eyebrow shot up to her hairline, a disbelieving smirk marring her lips. She shook her head and her hands shot out and grabbed the bag from his fingers, before stuffing the items he'd tipped out back into it without any thought of folding them. He stood back and watched as she continued to toss things inside, arms folded, his face blank. Eventually she stopped and tossed the bag to the bed before resuming her earlier stance.

"What?"

"You're not leaving."

"I am."

He shook his head and laughed mirthlessly, picked up the bag and held it in his hands by his side.

"You're not. You can't just up and leave. We need you here!"

"My place is with my people."

"You're place is here with us." He could see the retort in her eyes and he shook his head. "For four years, you've told your people that you can do better here than you ever could there. Why the sudden change?"

"I do not think that is any of your concern, Colonel."

He twitched at the use of his title but didn't let it show to her.

"Au contraire, I think it is my concern when a member of my team decides to leave without telling me!"

"That is what this is about? Because I didn't tell you I was leaving?"

He scoffed and shook his head, though he couldn't bring himself to look at her. There were other factors but that was certainly one of them. He frowned in her direction when she picked up another bag but before she could even put anything in it, he snatched it from her grasp and dropped it at his feet.

"I just don't understand."

"You would not."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He was _irked _he would admit and her blatant disrespect for their friendship was _irking _him even more. He moved around the bed and stood beside her, as she faced the direction John had come from. He could see her jaw working overtime and he could only imagine the grinding noise that her teeth would be making as she crushed them together. She didn't respond and he reached out to her, grabbing onto her arm. She jerked and pulled away, narrowing her eyes at him in a way that he was sure was supposed to be menacing. "What is going on?"

"Nothing is going on."

He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't believe you." She glared at him and he wanted to smile but knew it wasn't worth his life.

"Why do you have such a desire for me to stay?"

Her question knocked him for six and he only realised how close he'd moved to her when he took a step back. He shifted his eyes to the wall behind her head and shuffled his feet.

"I just... you're... well, you're my friend and I... you're an asset to this base and... We need you here."

He caught her eye and the smile she gave him reminded him of the one when they'd first met on Athos when he'd felt as though she was seeing through him and actually _seeing _him.

"I see." She nodded and turned away and John could have sworn he heard a hint of dejectedness from her. "My people need me."

John inched closer to her again after a moment of indecision and his hand reached out to touch her bare arm again. She turned to him a fraction and he lowered his eyes to where the tingle in his fingers tips was.

_"I _need you."

He gulped as the words left his mouth in a quiet whisper and he felt every nerve ending in his body tingling with anticipation. He could see her hesitation in her face as she glanced sideways at him.

"You do not."

She stepped out of his grip and resumed packing, her hands shaking as she did so. John stood still for a moment trying to comprehend what the hell had just happened. Then he lost it. He ripped the new bag from her hands and threw it to the other side of the rooms, grabbing onto her shoulders and pulling her towards him.

"Dammit, Teyla, what do you want from me?" He yelled as she gripped her, almost shaking her. He could see the apprehension in her eyes before it melted to cold resolve and loosened his grip.

"I require nothing from you, Colonel Sheppard." He dropped his hands. "Nothing you are willing to give." She turned away from him and he ran his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his suddenly tense neck.

Then it came to him.

"I love you," he murmured without thinking and he saw her stop, her hands stilling like cast iron over some clothing and she turned to him.

"What?"

He swallowed, his eyes finding hers, hoping that the fear he was feeling inside wasn't showing through his eyes.

"I... I love you. Is that what you want? Is that what you from me?" He couldn't keep the irritation from his voice and he saw her eyes narrow slightly.

He resisted the urge to take a step back when she stepped towards him. She eyed him again and he suddenly felt very, very exposed.

"No," she murmured quietly and she shook her head. "No," she continued more assuredly, "I want you to mean it."

"I..." He frowned as he trailed off. "I do mean it... I..."

She smiled sadly at him and jerked her head in a way he knew she had picked up from him.

"Yet you cannot bring yourself to say it again." He tried to say it again, he really, really did but the words stuck in his throat and all that happened was his mouth moved without any sound escaping. "Please, leave."

He lowered his eyes, closed his lids against the sudden pain that erupted in his chest, the deep ache in his belly and nodded.

"Okay."

He turned and left, pausing only for a second at the door before he stepped through. He waited until the door closed behind him and then thumped back against his, cradling his head in his hands, kicking himself in the backside.

He waited there for a few minutes longer and then raised his teary eyes to the ceiling.

He did love her.

He just needed to prove it.


End file.
